Translation: lately I have just seen one-too-many terrible movies.  I do my duty as a film buff and see as many flicks as I possibly can at any given time, but I think it is safe to say that this summer has disappointed so far.

What Happens in Vegas I didn’t ever really expect much from; personally, I think it is your own fault if you shell out ten bucks to see an Ashton Kutcher flick and I accept full responsibility for my actions.  It provided a few laughs, but by the end credits, the funniest parts had been the seriously delivered lovey-dovey lines like, “We hit the jackpot.”

Sex and the City was never going to live up to the show.  They closed the characters’ stories so perfectly that to re-open them was never going to be anything other than a mistake.  It was an excuse to display pretty clothes and a couple of humorous lines at the expense of any respect the writers had gained in their attempt to liberate women from double standards.  It felt like an unnecessary (and far too long) episode.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian essentially proved the age-old proverb that you can never get the same experience out of a movie that you can from a beloved book.  I thought it was an endearing attempt that fell flat at its conclusion.

The Strangers had so much going for it.  Liv Tyler was all set up to be the modern-day Jamie Lee, but then somewhere along the way they sacrificed suspense and plot for gratuitous gore.  Don’t get me wrong, it was scary, but not as scary as it could have been.  It didn’t get in your head the way a film about average-Joes who just felt like slicing you up for no particular reason should.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was…okay.  It was entertaining, but the problem is that we all demand so much more of an Indiana Jones movie.  Moreover, I am really starting to believe that Steven Spielberg is incapable of directing a movie without aliens in it.  Enough with the aliens.

The Happening, ah, The Happening.  Poor M. Night Shyamalan.  I wanted so much to love this film.  I’d forgiven him for Lady in the Water and I was ready for his big comeback.  I’m still waiting.  The Happening was a brilliant and original idea that was just poorly executed.  The true horror in this movie is the cringe-worthy acting which is so forced you’d swear George Lucas penned the script.

The one exception to my misery at the theatre so far is a little film called Iron Man.  All I can say is that it is about time the rest of the world realized that Robert Downey Jr. is awesome.

I’m holding out for the June 27th release of Wanted because as far as I’m concerned, James McAvoy can do no wrong (I finally saw The Last King of Scotland and it is probably the best movie I’ve seen all summer).

In lieu of wasting more money at the cinema, I’ve been renting a lot of films.  Most of what’s coming out on video now is also awful.  I finally saw Juno, however, and I did actually love that one despite a lot of people thinking it’s overrated.  The Other Boleyn Girl was decent and Untraceable is surprisingly chilling.  Other than that, you’re on your own.  My advice is to pick-up a book (see my piece on Twilight).  It seems all the good writing is not to be found in film these days…